“I know mum is okay, I don’t have to worry”: How our Home Care Packages help support caregiver children

61-year-old Cheryl Abolderrow has been looking after her mum, Norma Sommerfeld, since she was about 15 years old.

When Cheryl’s dad and brother both passed away, Norma moved in with Cheryl, her husband and her daughter - and she’s been there ever since.

“Mum’s been unwell for a long time,” Cheryl says. “She had a few falls, ended up in hospital, and the hospital staff told her that she should go into care at a nursing home. She was adamant that she wouldn’t be going. She said to me - ‘if you put me in there I will die’. So, we had to make it work somehow.”

Norma is 88 now, on a Level 4 (highest level) Home Care Package, and has lived in Cheryl’s house for 14 years. She has the master bedroom with its ensuite, with plenty of room for her recliner, television and her bed. Norma spends most of her time watching television, or eating meals with the rest of the family, but does require 24/7 care.

“You do have to do everything. She doesn’t walk, so you have to take her to the loo. As she has aged, she has got a bit of dementia, so she has lost a lot of ability,” Cheryl says.

How Feros Care can help

With her Home Care Package, Norma can access a variety of equipment for her needs, including her recliner, a wheelchair, a special bed, a shower chair and even the equipment used to move her from the bed to the bathroom.

Care workers attend each day to help with Norma’s grooming and offer Cheryl a bit of respite from her intense caring schedule.

“They shower her every day, which is a big help,” Cheryl says. “I know that mum is here being looked after and I can go out to pay the bills, or go have a coffee, and not have to worry. I look forward to having that time to myself every week.”

Norma enjoys the visits; the care workers might play some bingo with her or take her out on the deck to enjoy the sunshine. “She always seems to have a good time,” Cheryl adds, “she’s responsive, a bit more alert.”

As a carer, self-care is key

Norma’s Feros Care Wellbeing Manager – also called Cheryl (Rayner) - has been working with both Norma and daughter Cheryl A for years. She knew that Cheryl A had given up a lot in the home to meet Norma’s care needs and soon realised that it wasn’t just Norma that could use some support from Feros Care.

“I was having medical treatment in town, and was short on time. One day, I came in, and Cheryl Rayner said - ‘are you okay? You just don’t seem like yourself.’ I was hot and flustered, and she said, ‘I think you probably need a bit more time to yourself,” Cheryl A explains.

Cheryl R arranged the in-home respite so that Cheryl A and her husband could have a bit more self-care time. Cheryl A can now go to her medical appointments without stress, and she even has the time to sit and have a coffee afterwards. On the weekends, she and her husband now enjoy a ‘date lunch’ or get their shopping done.

“I don’t think we realise how important self-care is to each and every one of us,” Cheryl R explains. “Carer’s burnout is real, and it needs to be addressed. Especially with what we’re calling the ‘sandwich generation’, getting pulled in both directions between their children and their ageing parents.”

We’re inspired to help everyone we can

Wellbeing Manager Cheryl R’s personal background as a long-time carer and supporter has given her personal perspective on on what really matters to people.

“I’ve been in that situation myself, making the decision to put loved ones into care or not - and Cheryl A could’ve made that choice quite some time ago but has chosen not to. As a result, we’re very happy to give her the chance to be supported in that carer role.”

Cheryl A agrees that keeping her mother at home is “100% better”: “I think being with the family makes a big difference. They feel that they have that security, the familiarity.”

“Being with Feros has made it so easy. Cheryl will give you options – she doesn’t just say, ‘oh we will do this. She will say, maybe we can do something, or something else.’ And there’s no trouble with the process. If there’s something I’m not sure about – I give them a ring and they talk me through it.”

“It’s just wonderful that they’re here supporting me. Otherwise I wouldn’t get out to do the things I like, or need, to do. And it makes me happier by doing it.”

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